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GW2 Jokes


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#1 TheWindWarrior

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Posted 05 November 2010 - 01:57 AM

In need of a laugh?
me too
I am slighly bored since the information slowdown, so to help pass the time
lets make guild wars 2 jokes like what happens when a warrior a ranger and a elementalist walk into a bar, or why did the moa cross the road...
(im trying to make a gw2 jokes thread)
p.s. im sorry if this thread was made before but i searched jokes so...

#2 Mesmertron

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Posted 05 November 2010 - 02:35 AM

A friend talking to a GW-Player:
"You really play too much Guild Wars. I mean, who else runs into a church, shouts "Meteorshower!", kicks the priest and tries to cap the altar?"

-

PvP-Player Promotion

"Hi I'm X Imba Slayer X. I'm a warrior. And that guy over there is my buddy Boom Toeshot the ranger. Business as usual. He snares the enemy, rupts every spell and I beat the crap out of them. Our only problem, he sold his old skool moded recurve-bow for a damn wintergreen scythe!"

"Hi it's me again X Imba Slayer X. And this is my GvG team:
1st War: X Imba Slayer X; well I'm just imba.
2nd War: Frenzy Victim Deluxe; that guy echos frenzy.
Mesmer: Sir Rupt A Lot; he has 8 rupts on his bar and he needs them.
Necro: Master Of Death; our minion master, he has no other skills unlocked.
Elementalist: King Flame; superior fire and energy storage rune, a fast death penalty farmer.
Prot-Monk: X| Naruto X|; he thinks he is an assassin.
Infuse: Rapid Healing; suicide infusing like a pro.
Flagger: Swift Legs; using shadow steps for flag returns.

What I'm trying to say is... lf new guild to play GvG."

Well pretty boring but quite okay for the beginning.^^

#3 Luther Keeler

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Posted 05 November 2010 - 03:12 AM

So a noble human, a charr foundry worker, and a first born sylvari are stranded in the crystal desert. The human and the charr have been at each other's throats since they got separated from their group, while the sylvari was happy to have good company in the hot desert which he sought to discover. They walked for what seems to them like four days, when suddenly the human suffering from dehydration clumsily tripped over a brown rock.

After the sylvari helped the human back on her feet, the charr had a closer look at the rock which to him seemed to 'shine' under the hot sun. The human quickly recognized that it was a magic lamp, one of the djinn producing variety, and proceeded to grab the lamp from the charr.

And after rubbing it three times according to legend:

*Poof* A djinn appears, with a seemingly unhappy disposition about it. It quickly glanced at the charr and sylvari with a curious eye, and then proceeded to tell the human that it was in need of rest and that it could grant each member of the party a single wish so that they might release it back into the lamp.

The human wanting to get back to the expedition which she was lost from, wished to be transported back to her caravan. *Whoosh* The human vanished.

The charr only looking to make some solid gold wished himself back to the Iron Citadel where he could try to get back on his feet. *Whoosh* The charr disappeared.

The sylvari thought what to wish for some time, that coincided with his original goal to learn what the Crystal Desert had to offer. So after being scolded by the djinn to hurry up, his final thought was that the best way for him to experience the barren desert that surrounded him was to have some good company...

#4 outbreak

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Posted 05 November 2010 - 03:24 AM

Whattya call a flying sylvari?


A Flytrap! ahahahahahaha

#5 Turambar

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Posted 05 November 2010 - 03:55 AM

A Charr bolts into a Norn bar and asks for 4 shots of the strongest Norn Meade (110% proof) to be served as soon as possible. After the Norn barkeeper serves out the drinks, the Charr lines up each shot, one after the other on the edge of the bar, and sets about consecutively downing them... one after the other. The Norn bar-tender, looks over at what the Charr is doing and says,

"Whoa, what's the big hurry, my furry, feline friend?"

The Charr finishes knocking back the last of the shots and turns to the big Norn and says,

"Trust me, if you had what I've got you'd do exactly the same."

The Norn pauses for a moment, apprehensively, and then asks with more than a bit of curiously entering into his voice:

"And what... is it that you've got, exactly??"

The Charr answers straight-away,

"3 karma pts, some measley xp and no gold to pay with. Yup... *sighs* I just failed my last Dynamic Event!"



attrib. adapted from a joke I saw in the local newspaper.

Edited by Turambar, 05 November 2010 - 04:14 AM.


#6 actionjack

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Posted 05 November 2010 - 05:58 AM

Pick up lines:


Sylvari:  We do lot more than just birds and bees.

Asura:  I got toys.

Charr:  Want to know why the little red ridding hood said "my, what big D*** you have"?

Norn:  Just look at my feet.

Human:  Let me show you my "Divinity's Reach"

#7 Luther Keeler

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Posted 05 November 2010 - 06:11 AM

actionjack said:

Charr:  Want to know why the little red ridding hood said "my, what big D*** you have"?

But... but it's the big bad wolf, not charr.

#8 Venbloodblade

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Posted 06 November 2010 - 07:05 PM

Luther Keeler said:

But... but it's the big bad wolf, not charr.

Charr: I'm horny

#9 TheWindWarrior

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Posted 07 November 2010 - 06:30 PM

Venbloodblade said:

Charr: I'm horny

Norn: I'm Norny

#10 Amannelle

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Posted 07 November 2010 - 06:45 PM

Norn: Why don't we shiver in the cold? Because we save our vibrating for other activities...



xD Sorry, that's awful, isn't it... xD

#11 actionjack

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Posted 07 November 2010 - 06:46 PM

Amannelle said:

Norn: Why don't we shiver in the cold? Because we save our vibrating for other activities...



xD Sorry, that's awful, isn't it... xD

Yeah.. that is pretty bad....

Or as what Norn would said.... Ba-Ba-Ba-Ba-ad

#12 Huginn

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Posted 07 November 2010 - 07:48 PM

what do you call a sylvari that always fails?

A "facepalm"

#13 actionjack

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Posted 07 November 2010 - 07:53 PM

What do Asura play in baseball?
a: Shortstop

#14 Insanius_Maximus

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Posted 07 November 2010 - 08:06 PM

What does a sylvari say when you step on its lawn?

"My babies!!!!"

#15 Doctor Overlord

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Posted 07 November 2010 - 08:12 PM

Huginn said:

what do you call a sylvari that always fails?

A "facepalm"

That was groan worthy :o

#16 Huginn

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Posted 07 November 2010 - 08:30 PM

A norn walks out of a bar.

#17 Dartus

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Posted 07 November 2010 - 08:56 PM

Huginn said:

A norn walks out of a bar.

/laugh ;)

Warrior: Ok I am gonna run in and tank them.

Necromancer: Hold on 1 sec. (Cast's Death Nova)

Warrior: (looks at Necro) Wow... what a nice vote of confidence...... ***hole.

#18 Hit 'n' Run!

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Posted 07 November 2010 - 09:18 PM

A norn, a charr, a human and a sylvari were on a quest exploring the depths of Tyria . Suddenly, the sylvari saw that his backpack was gone. He turned at the other 3 adventurers who were trying to stop themselves from laughing out loudly and said

- If you don't give me my backpack back the same thing that happened with my last group will happen again!

His companions quickly gave his backpack back to him with hands shivering from fear. After several minutes of silence the Norn dared to ask

- What happened with your last group?

- They did not gave it back to me and I had to buy a new one :( .



A newly married Norn couple:

-Him: Woman, you have to know and always remember that -  when I am wearing the wolf skin, I am in a god mood, but when I am wearing the bear skin, you better watch out because that would mean I am very angry!

-Her: Whan I put my hands on my waist, you need to know which skin to wear :devil: .

#19 Winterclaw

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Posted 07 November 2010 - 09:33 PM

Mesmertron said:

Prot-Monk: X| Naruto X|; he thinks he is an assassin.

I HAed with a monk who pulled that on a PUG I was in once (I knew something was wrong when he didn't ping is bar).  And people wonder why I hate HA players.
It is a statical fact that half the people on the boards have a secret desire to be a cat-girl samurai.

#20 Matthew Browne

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Posted 08 November 2010 - 12:12 AM

Hit said:

A norn, a charr, a human and a sylvari were on a quest exploring the depths of Tyria . Suddenly, the sylvari saw that his backpack was gone. He turned at the other 3 adventurers who were trying to stop themselves from laughing out loudly and said

- If you don't give me my backpack back the same thing that happened with my last group will happen again!

His companions quickly gave his backpack back to him with hands shivering from fear. After several minutes of silence the Norn dared to ask

- What happened with your last group?

- They did not gave it back to me and I had to buy a new one :( .

I... It isn't even worth commenting o.o

#21 gwguard

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Posted 16 November 2010 - 07:01 PM

hi to all
ok i asked today my friend when do he thoughts gw2 is coming out and he said 2012,and
i said that made that why they say it is the end of the world,the end of the world of warcraft.Me and my friend lol,made because we hate wow,but made i am right because wow is going towards cataclysm these days

#22 gwguard

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Posted 16 November 2010 - 07:26 PM

[quote name='Mesmertron']A friend talking to a GW-Player:
"You really play too much Guild Wars. I mean, who else runs into a church, shouts "Meteorshower!", kicks the priest and tries to cap the altar?"


:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D :D:qq::D the best joke ever and whit little changes it can work for any mmo

#23 gwguard

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Posted 16 November 2010 - 07:29 PM

Huginn said:

A norn walks out of a bar.

good one men :D:qq::D

#24 Opuri

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Posted 16 November 2010 - 07:51 PM

Why one never asks for money to an Asura?

Because they're always short.

#25 Foucz

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Posted 16 November 2010 - 08:18 PM

What's the difference between Line and Asura ?
Line is limited.

#26 WF Solomon

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Posted 16 November 2010 - 08:57 PM

gwguard said:

hi to all
ok i asked today my friend when do he thoughts gw2 is coming out and he said 2012,and
i said that made that why they say it is the end of the world,the end of the world of warcraft.Me and my friend lol,made because we hate wow,but made i am right because wow is going towards cataclysm these days

I'm not sure if this is actually a legitimate attempt at a joke, but it certainly made me laugh.

#27 Rolin

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Posted 16 November 2010 - 09:24 PM

Human: "Hounds of Balthazar!" *summons fiery hounds of war*
Norn: "Blessing of the Bear!" *becomes the bear*
Asura: "G.O.L.E.M. get over here!" *activates golem suit*
Charr: "Power and strength!" *summons a giant flame effigy*
Sylvari: "...Flower power?" *the scenery is now more pleasing to look at*

Edited by Rolin, 16 November 2010 - 09:53 PM.


#28 Yokohama

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Posted 16 November 2010 - 09:46 PM

This thread is so much lulz. :D

Damn my lack of imagination. I want to contribute with something funny. :(

#29 Insanius_Maximus

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Posted 16 November 2010 - 09:56 PM

What did Palawa Joko say about Zhaitan's undead orrian army?

"Well, aren't you original... *rolls eyes*"

#30 Jostedalsosten

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Posted 16 November 2010 - 11:31 PM

So, a norn, a sylvari and a charr walks into a bar. They calmly walk to the barkeeper and starts yelling: "WTB 60 DRUNKENMINUTES, 60g ea!!!!!!!!!"

So, a human noble walks into a puppetstore and starts yelling "WTB unded MINIS CHEAP!!!"




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