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Mustache Mayhem

Member Since 26 Aug 2009
Offline Last Active Nov 29 2014 04:36 PM

Topics I've Started

Need bind to loot

08 September 2012 - 08:13 PM

one thing that's bothered me is the interact button.. Is there a bind to just loot or mine, ect without interacting with the npc around you?

as an engineer it's really annoying not being able to loot around your turrets in a fight because you'll pick up the turret first.. or in the story a lot of npc will have dialog and you go to loot only to have the dialog come up

The tear jerkers

06 September 2012 - 09:58 PM

is it just me or am I not feeling the same emotional attachment to the characters I did in gw1.. like when saidra died (for no reason of course).. I felt a pit in my stomach a bit the first time through 7 years ago.. I'll admit it =] of course later I saved her to watch her disappear

now when sieran does the exact same thing as saidra in the priory story.. I was almost like- good riddance! even visiting the tomb of gwen seemed really unemotional for some reason.. I guess were just so used to filling in the blanks with graphics- now that we have something to look at- it's hard to imagine it's the same game

oh well there's my rant for the day.. I'm also finding a lot of lgbt content in the game which I'll keep to myself xD

50 shades of grey and Anet

04 September 2012 - 07:31 AM

those guys are all into red hairs for some reason down at anet

but I ran into this tonight playing my engineer in the storyline..
Posted Image

I don't have a dirty mind, but that might be taking it a bit too far!

Your Characters Backstories

07 August 2012 - 01:54 AM

was looking through some old folders and pulled up some old stories of my gw1 characters.. thought it'd be fun to hear other people's backstories on thier mmo characters.. it doesn't matter what game- just happened to be gw1 =]

Chapter 1

my warrior bucktooth bodyslam.. final draft

he was a good old man.. he was walking along the coast with hayda in sparkfly swamp humming his favorite song.. "hopped out the window with a sword in his hand.. said excuse me heckett, I'm doin my dooty.. now get in the swamp and give me my looty.."

he turns to hayda.. "you know I remember when I bit fendi's right hand clean off", he swigged another swig of aged hunter's ale.. hayda turns to bucktooth "me soo huuongry!"

so they go in some bushes looking for cherries to eat.. that's when they are jumped by a huge bear, it was so big hayda ran away

one hit, two hits.. bucktooth goes down to his knees and yells "noooooooooooooo!" his mending spell still active as the last thing he sees is a unstoppable claw go right through his civilian clothes

bucktooth lay on the ground and has flashbacks to a simpler time.. before the beasts didn't used to run and how he could trick them into sitting in his traps.. something was stirring them up recently, but he thought it was nothing..

RIP Bucktooth Bodyslam.. now hayda had to get the guild together and tell them the news of Bucks death.. she hurried to Bucktooth's hall and sent the word out across Tyria for all members to come..

and come they did! all stood before Buck's great hall and the ranger Mustache Mayhem saw his chance to charm himself a rainbow pheonix.. Mustache Mayhem had a stach that was so long it could be used to blind foes.. he crouched down and said "come here chicken legs!" the bird was instantly charmed with Mayhem's stash..

Hayda told the crew the story of what happened at sparkfly.. all of a sudden out of nowhere, assassin Taco Popping Lips appears out of thin air! *poof*

he was naked too and wondering why his shadowform had failed.. the magic of the land was slowly fading.. even the resident monk of the guild and brother of Bodyslam, Bucktooth Smacker could feel his power being drained..

"Hayda what is happening!" said Melvin Puller, the ritualist born in the gates of pain.. some say she fell from the sky and was not born in Tyria..

Hayda had realized they would all soon be engulfed by this new fading power.. they alerted all the dungeon crawlers of things to come.. some say Melvin Puller could see into the future using the eye of janthir in her later years, as she wrote many prophecies of things to come before her death by snowman..

the only one to have kids in Buck's guild was Buttsegs Allnight, the elementalist.. his son would start generations of Allnight's that would eventually take over the world and solo everything.. Melvin wrote in one of her scrolls on her deathbed "there was a great one who rose up against the dragon..

he wielded the kind of power only his fathers, fathers, father had seen and in one focused second dispatched the great beast in a magic so focused, it blew apart everything and took everyone within 5 miles.. Melvin 4:11"

Chapter 2

people in the wilds often heard a raaaawwrr!! and had licked ears when they woke up.. pop from behind entered the jungle and ran right to the hecket camp by the swamps..

the king of the hecketts was in heat and tried to hump taco popping lips leg.. taco couldn't shadow form any longer and had to deal with it.. they crept further into the swamp- to the exact spot where the bear took the mighty bucktooth down.. pop sniffed the air, something wasn't right.. they saw some bushes move and went to check..

all of a sudden they could smell it.. bucktooth smacker on instinct immediately put protective spirit around pop as this humongous claw came down on top of him.. bammm!! it would have evicerated pop in two but the jig was up.. bucktooth smacker aegis'd the team expecting this not to last long.. but this bear that stood before them was like no other bear pop had seen

it stood 20 feet tall on it's hind legs and smelled like raspberries.. the bear stumbled as taco laid down a radiation field and crippled it.. the bear swung and missed taco by a mile.. pop decided this one was big enough to spoil victor.. he cast the spell only to find the bear had a hex breaker stance.. bamm! the claws came down on pop at a rate so fast he was within an inch of his life.. he yelled smacker!!!

smacker quickly healed the damage before the next flurry of claws.. the bear then cast a savanah heat that burned off tacos eyebrows.. wtf! yelled taco.. how is a bear able to mage? this wasn't what it seemed.. over in the bush pop saw a hecket mage casting full force sustaining the bear.. pop decided to shut him down but was quickly backfired by the elite frogman.. bam! the claw came down to finish off pop

taco yelled "nooooooooooo!!" as he too was hexed with clumsiness and on the verge of death.. smacker was running low on mana and knew he couldn't keep up with the pressure.. he yelled taco get the hell out of here I'll hold them off!

taco ran into the woods only to step on a trap set by some hecket's working with the mage.. taco yelled smacker!! the cripple was removed by his buddy quickly.. this wasn't a time to conserve- he put the last of his mana into windborne speed so taco could escape.. it was too much for the healer- drained of his mana, taco saw the bear tear him a new ass as he ran away.. taco's eyes teared for his buddy of 20 years as he ran to gadds encampment to get some help

when he returned with a group of hired henchmen the bodies were gone.. taco roid raged like a monkey in a cage at the zoo- how could this have happened? he went back to the hecket's camp for some answers.. frog legs went flying everywhere that night.. taco popping lips had found the mage in a hammock drinking mint julips towards the back of the camp

the mage summoned him closer.. but taco knew, it was a trick.. he had his ranger merc stick a concussion shot right in the frogs piehole.. mint julips flew all over the hecket's face as he panic'd to cast spells.. taco acted quick and in one chain of flawless- left the frog headless as the corpse fell to it's knees

taco found the bodies of his friends dragged into the swamp.. what a way to go he thought.. he couldn't believe they had underestimated the power of the hecket's.. how could these little creatures in numbers command so much power? taco fired all the henchmen and went to get Mayhem..

Chapter 3

Mustache Mayhem's story..

Mustache Mayhem lived in a ivory tower as a kid.. he loved to jump around and eat the most expensive foods in the market..

jump forward 50 years.. Mayhem was an accomplished marksman who could stick a arrow in a lubed piehole from twice the distance using a shortbow.. he'd been known to take on bears in the jungle one on one.. his legend was nothing short of ridiculous

in cantha.. he used to walk solo through the streets of thugs who dared not jump him.. once an arrogant man, he had mellowed out and was very street smart.. a flaming canthan named wing decided he was going to teach mustache trick or two.. wing ended up with the wrong end of a nightstick- hexed with ignorance he went down so fast with 2 of mustaches boots lost in his ass.. his own gang turned on him mid battle

mustache was the man.. friendly with the am fah and feared by the tormented creatures in the gates of elona.. one day he decided to join an elite guild of solo artists led by bucktooth bodyslam.. with bucktooth's passing along with bucktooth's brother smacker- Mustache vowed to change the face of tyria for the better..

his managerie was full and he paid the groundskeepers generously.. but he thought.. what if I charmed rotscale! I would be unstoppable!

he headed to toa immediately.. running up over the hill, he could see rotscale chillin with his krewe.. mustache stroked his stache- now how am I going to pull this off? he pondered and prepared an incendiary..

all of a sudden, taco popped up from behind mayhem.. whoa mayhem said "it ain’t that kind of party!"

taco wasn't wearing any pants.. he had forgot because he used to always shadow form and run around naked.. after getting on his pants, Mayhem told him of his plan to charm rotscale itself.. taco laughed "there's no way man.. I know your stache gets the ladies but really.. I mean huh? what are you thinking it's a big ass undead dragon, you'd have an easier time charming a harpy"

Mustache was ready to attempt the impossible.. he laid down the traps with a big smile

taco just stood there shaking his head.. with the traps laid they walked up the path to rotscale, mustache said let's do this.. rot raged as he seen the two comming and the undead swarmed

taco jogged back with a yawn after balling them up.. all you seen was a bones fly everywhere as the traps went off.. "heheh" taco loved it when things went down in a spike.. mustache quickly blinded and dazed rotscale and jumped on top of the great beast like a bull rider.. he was whispering some sweet nothing's in rotscales ear when all of a sudden to tacos surprise.. rotscale slowly began to calm..

could it be? the great rotscale found a friend in mayhem? mayhem gleamed- "see taco.. this is how you do it you wow newbie".. taco took off his pants and still couldn't shadowform.. as they headed to lions arch with rotscale behind, mayhem couldn't help and think about the look on the peasants faces when they got there..

Mayhem grew very cocky with rotscale doing most of the work in his dungeon adventures.. he defeated mallyx by telling rotscale to go bucknuts while mayhem watched in glee.. one day Mayhem went too far and got surrounded by a group of red haired yeti.. although he was able to beat the group, this left them both drained.. Mayhem was getting up there in age and didn't notice the black yeti come out of a cave from behind

the black yeti crept up on mayhems backside and bam bam bam!.. it was over.. mayhem laid to rest in some weeds

rotscale fought the onslaught of yeti but he was eventually on the verge of losing.. the red hair was too much for him and the black ones kept creeping up from the backside for huge damage

the mighty dragon took to flight but a brown yeti jumped on his back! he lit some kind of shoe bomb as they climbed way into the sky.. boooooooooommmm!!! RIP Mustache Mayhem and Rotscale

Chapter 4

Taco's story..

taco was always hiding as a kid.. he liked to practice magic and was soon known in chebek village as the little annoying red headed mage.. he outgrew his red hair and began employment as a blacksmith's whipping boy

it was during that time he learned much about law and taxes.. he grew to resent the government and made friends with many who talked about a revolution

taco soon moved on and started training as an assassin in tahnnakai temple with his master professor gai.. he soon realized that last name was fitting when he got beat with the soap like in full metal jacket one night for refusing to do squats in training.. he slipped out in the middle of the night after he went to take a shower and saw a bar of soap on a rope placed conveniently on the ground..

taco ran into bucktooth who was drinking hunters ale out in the woods with his party and the rest is history.. ** fast forward to the news of mayhem's death

taco heard the news through the grapevine and decided he was going to retire to the country.. settle down and live the slow life- he lived to be 105, married twice and lived the rest of his days as a naked hermit.. his last words he scribbled down before bed that night were.. "pinche lantini" which translates to "I like tacos"

he passed away peacefully and was the last of the original crew..

Chapter 5

off-shoot in the series.. buttsegs allnight

he was an elementalist born to cast fire.. ever since he was a child he liked to burn stuff, it started with ants and eventually he learned to balance it with cold spells to encase an object in fire without damage.. this led him to have a fiery crotch that got him some emo chicks

after hearing about the death of mayhem.. buttsegs decided to settle down and raise a family.. he created a spell that could paralyze and blind a bear within 5 miles and taught this way of creating spells to his sons

only generations later would realize the power of those spells and history changing events to follow.. buttsegs flexed one last time in hells precipice and jumped into the lava as a old mage.. some say he became immortal that day but most agree he just went up in a cloud of smoke..

if you look into the pool of lava, you can still see his face with red lipstick smeared all over it staring back at you!

Chapter 6

last character in the series.. Go To Sleep Nubles

she was a paragon who liked to roll around in doggie dookie.. she used to get out
of control in the orphanage..

a warrior came in looking to adopt

his name was daddy warbucks and he was interested in adopting nubles.. but nubles
slapped his bald head and he roid rage adopted another kid.. nubles, sad as she was shuffled from foster home to foster home.. in her teens she started a gang called
the sugarhill gang of elona and they wore gang colors green and white..

nubles used to steal from the rich side of town and was known in circles as
the red haired bucktooth girl.. several warrants were out for her arrest by the
age of 18 and she decided to move out of kamadan and found her way to cantha

she really liked the canthans.. they showed her trick or two and she learned how to
master her shouts.. one day a huge warrior dressed in the finest armor came into cantha

he was so big all the ladies loved it and rumors got around.. nubles snuck up on his
backside to steal his moneybags.. the warrior turned and one slapped her

she looked up and saw his read hair and fell instantly in love.. she later would learn he
was bucktooth bodyslam and vowed to someday join his guild.. several years later after
much stalking by nubles, bucktooth let her in the guild and she served as his treasurer..

she held the duty of holding all valuables in the guild and checked them out as needed..
she even had a couple affairs with bucktooth unknown to hayda.. on news of bucktooths death, nubles left the guild and started back on her life of crime

without a job at the guild.. she eventually ended up back on the streets of cantha, robbed of her youth she became a fortune teller.. she died when an assassin couldn't handle the truth about his undersized package