Most people knew that you didn't need to run the exact build being asked for, just something close enough to it that the build still rolled and that its main function wasn't changed. (i.e. replacing DKiss with Orison? Fine. Replacing it with Searing Flames? Kick) If there even was a preferred build that people needed to ask for. Usually it was enough just to provide some benefit and not weigh down the team.
The people that were exactly like you describe weren't worth playing with anyway, so why do you complain?
If on the other hand you are talking about those "somewhat effective" builds like beastmaster-mesmers, or elementalists without any sort of energy management, or warriors with Dolyak Signet, Sever Artery, and 6 healing spells, then no, you were not being "somewhat effective", you were just being a dick to the rest of the team, and it was the duty of the party leader to prevent you from wasting 7 other players' time.
Indeed. PvXWiki. It had been long enough that I'd forgotten the actual name of the site.
While I don't object to captains trying to maintain a suitable team dynamic, I certainly object to the rude phrasing and the lack of flexibility. I wasn't, for example, bringing an elementalist "without any sort of energy management." I was bringing an Ele with good energy management but built for moderate damage + utility in Earth rather than high damage in Fire. Frankly, I'd not even mind being excluded from groups so often if the response had more often been more polite rather than a "Get lost, scrub" grounded in the expectation that I was studying the meta.