I wholeheartedly agree with you here. This is, in my opinion, the core problem with GW2. Back during development and for a while after launch there were plenty of detractors for the game, but ANet was very communicative and had a clear vision for what they wanted for the game, and it made for a very different tone in discussions about the game.
Ultimately, I don't think it's specific things in the game that are causing community toxicity, but a deep sense of uncertainty. ANet's silence keeps enough hope alive, while their shifting design vision pleases then alienates sections of the player base in turn.
What the game desperately needs is clarity of vision. That way people really can make a choice about whether it will ever be the game for them, and "this just isn't the game for you (or me)" would could be a legitimate response.